Relating to People

In social and business meetings, some people seem to fit in immediately, others need encouragement. The relationship between the regulars and a newcomer can sometimes be a little unbalanced, and I feel it is beholden on the host to encourage new guest to become comfortable, and assuage any confusion.

Now and  Zen

The Zen master Rinzai summarised the way that people relate in the terms of host and guest roles, which I feel are worth considering in all personal interactions, whether social or work related.

The relationships that he defined are:

1) Host and Guest

The host is in touch with reality while the guest is confused.

2) Guest and Guest

Neither one knows what is going on.

3) Host and Host

Both are enlightened. This is said to be like “two thieves who meet in the night. They know each other immediately”.